The old saying about the Golden rule is something I would like to challenge.  Here is the saying.  “Those that own the Gold make the Rules.”   I say ….”if you let them.”  

As a financial advisor for almost 30 years I have seen what money can do for the good, the bad and the ugly.   For the most part it is not equal.  It drives behavior more than most anything in the world.   As they say all that glitters is not gold.  I have been fascinated by the haves and have not my whole life.  As a child I truly did not have the awareness of this concept.  In my early days we lived on an Air Force base where all the housing looked alike and most people were pretty much on the same pay scale or close enough.  This  truly helped level the playing field.  Being around a class of equals gives you the gift of either liking someone for who they or or not.   What I came to realize when I was a teenager and my parents got divorced is there is whole world out there separated in their mind by who has less and who has more.  To be honest we can all divide out lives into categories if we want.   Who has more….. money, love, shame, trust, integrity, power, dignity, respect. etc…  The list goes on and on and on.

So you might ask what has the journey of being a financial advisor taught me about money and the perception of the haves and the have not.   A whole lot.  I have seen money be the glue that binds people to lives they do not want.  I have seen money strip people of the freedom to make choices that would enable them to live their best life.  Money can act as shield or crutch.   Money can drive behavior in relationships more than trust, loyalty or bravery.   Please stop glamorizing it as a be all to end all.  It is simply not.   Money does not keep you healthy.  If anything at times it is toxic.   It can be soul denying.  I am not mad at money I just see how it drives behavior in almost everyone .   How they work, how they view themselves and other people.  News flash..  Money does not make you happy.  Wow was that too rough?? Only you can make you happy. .   Money does not give you your health.  Money is not sacred.  It comes and it goes.  Here is how I would like people to make some conscience  decisions about money.  If you could be anything or do anything, career  wise what would you  do?? If you took money out of the equation would you make the same choice? Would it upset someone in your  family? Would you care?  Would that person judge you?  Does the  inheriting their gold factor in your decision?    How important is the family trajectory if I do not live my life with integrity?   Is it possible I am living to fulfill someone’s dream other than myself?.  If money were not a component of the equation would I get married or stay married?  These are some of the questions I see go unanswered every because of money.

When money and control is the goal it is a long and winding road.  When passions and truth are lived it is the journey.  The minute you witness people doing what makes their heart sing the chains of money come off. It is one of the most beautiful feelings.

I am lucky to be in a profession that I truly enjoy because of the close relationships I have formed with my clients over the years.  If I had the money to pursue a career in psychology early on that would have been my choice.   What I have come to realize I would have never had the perspective that I have today.  My lesson in this life was to not value money more than I value myself.   Huge lessons on what it important.  My children have already told me they do not want to come into my business and sit a desk all day.  I get it.  I have worked 30 years building this business.  It hurts a little I admit, but it will be okay.

I recently went to a funeral for a woman that raised four girls by herself after her husband died at an early age.  What I witnessed was more love and respect in the room than I have seen at multimillionaires funerals.   Here is what I learned.  Sharon had an open door policy in her life.  She made time for people in her life.   That was her currency.  She was admired and respected.  She did not complain. Life had dealt her lemons and she made lemonade.  She listened to her kind of music and loved her life.  Her kids and friends were the  priority in life.    The funeral was standing room only. Grown men cried as they described how important she was in their life.   You see she was a waitress on the night shift at Denny’s.  She was the person people came to talk about their problems.  As tears run down my face writing this I can tell you this is a very Rich life.  We get but one life.  Is your door open or closed to the people that matter most?  Are you living your truth or for the pot of gold?    The decisions you make every day create your world.  Yes money does help the world go round….just do not let it influence every decision every day of your life.

Who is better than you??? NOBODY!!