I flat out love this saying!!! More than anything it is a great reminder to MYOB. Getting caught up in other peoples drama is huge waste of time, except for the Drama Mommas of the world because they live for that sh*t. Don’t we all just know the girl that can not wait to get the scoop so she can spread it around like wild fires.. And Oh by the way there are quite a few men out there that gossip just as often as the girls . Yep you are busted too. All of us like to know what is going on around us….the difference is what you do with this information. Too many times I have seen this go wrong. Which brings me to a another metaphor.. What goes around comes around.
Not my circus not my monkeys is about NOT engaging. I use this term a lot. Energy between two people is just that . Energy. The world is make up of it. When people get caught up in a drama of any particular nature, you have to stop and ask yourself why? What the heck do you think you are going to gain by adding fuel to the fire? I see this scene play out over and over again in peoples lives . I see mothers that try to control their kids lives when they are in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s by engaging in every aspect of their marriage, the grandkids, the in laws, the way their kids tie their shoes. Rather than just let it all unfold naturally the drama Momma’s want to engage. Put in their two cents.
It is not just in families. OPD.. Other People’s Drama happens at work, school, the country club, the fund raiser and at church. We all have it. OPD is just that as long as you do not engage. So maybe you are temped because you think you can fix it. You might be surprised at the look and the outrage on the other persons face. You see most people could care less about your opinion. Misery loves company. So if you want to prolong the agony by all means jump right in . Just know they are shark infested waters. The minute you take part your are fair game. You might even get blamed for the whole ridiculous behavior. Not what you signed up for ?? Then stay out of it.
Someone’s divorce? Keep quiet. An enabler giving money all the time to the kid that will not actually get a job? Shhhhh. Drinking problem?? Don’t say a word. The person at work that hates their job but refuses to quit or transfer to another position. You can not help these people. You have to let them figure it out for themselves. Eventually they will or they will not repeat the pattern over and over again and all you have to do is sit back and watch. When I say don’t engage I am not encouraging a lack of empathy, the importance here is your own involvement in something that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Not your circus, Not your monkeys. Kids eventually grow up and figure it out. In laws maybe not so much. You see some people live vicariously through others. Whether it is by design or not we will never know. It is so much easier to focus on everyone else situation but their own. Don’t we all know people like this?? They have all the answers for everyone except…….themselves. An authority of one. I do not have the time or the desire to hang out with the perpetual drama because I have better things to do.
When drama show up in my family I do everything in my power not to respond. It is a response I taught myself called the 24 hour rule. Even when someone tries to suck me in, I spit the bait right back out. Why ….? I have enough of my own stuff going on. I need to focus on my life to keep it calm and in balance. I am not giving my energy to something that does not serve my well being and neither should you. Then next time some tries to involve you in gossip or drama think about the energy it takes. The step two is ask yourself is it worth my time? Is there anything to gain by still listening or engaging. If not then shut it down. When your ears are not open to gossip or drama they will surely find their next victim of… all that negativity. When someone tells you for the 5th time how horrible their family or work life is, gently remind them you two had already spoken of it. They will get the message. One of my favorite questions to ask someone if they don’t quit is “I am confused…..why is this happening again?” Trust me they will stop dead in the tracks recognizing that you are aware of a pattern They are repeating. Works like a charm.
Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil. Repeat after me…. Not my Circus Not my Monkeys. Ok?? Now go have yourself a Sunday Funday!!
Who is better than You?? Nobody
If you like this blog post you might also enjoy. Patterns tell our Life Story and the 24 Hour Rule. Time is the only thing that really matters. Don’t waste it.
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